Corn and it's really real history

Corn is a strange invention. The Native Americans called it Maize, I believe it was originally mutated by the Egyptians who were known to send their people to South America to obtain cocaine (which the Egyptians pronounced Copán) for their addicted pharaohs and so brought back corn and coke which is where the word cornucopia comes from. Moses lead his people through the desert and was said to have instructed his tribe to eat the Manna (a kind of tortilla which tastes good with chicken and cheese) in order to survive. The reason the trip through the desert took 40 years is because they had to wait for enough corn to grow in order to turn it into Manna and then feed everybody with it. Also it's possible that they accidentally confused what Moses was pointing at and instead ate psychedelic mushrooms. There were most likely many weddings and embarrassingly strange parlor games in that amount of time. Manna was the Egyptian term for maize which is why Jewish people can't eat mayonnaise with their meat because it reminds them of having to wait for corn to grow. Also the ten commandments said that thou shalt not kill. It originally meant that we shouldn't kill anything. This also would mean that we're all supposed to be vegetarians which is another good reason not to eat mayonnaise with meat. So the bottom line is that we should probably just be eating mayonnaise and corn cause God said so.